006-Obsession -for Cheeseh-

006 – Obsession
100 Theme Challenge from deviantArt (information found in the comments)
Fandom – For this part, it's Watchmen
Rating – PG-15 for violence
Characters – Rorschach, Ozymandias, Captain Carnage, EvilCheese2 and celuthea
Disclaimer – I don't own Watchmen, and I'm not making a penny from this. It's all just for fun, I hope you enjoy it.
Summary – A plan that finally unites celuthea and Evilcheese2 with the masks they love, but will it work out?

I knew this would spiral into hilarity and crack. Enjoy, Cheeseh!</u>

*~*~*~*~*


Hari checked her reflection in the mirror, smiling at the rich purple t-shirt she had donned with her navy jeans. “Oh hell yeah,” she said to herself, adjusting the silver circlet stuck to her temples before skipping out of the front door. She whistled quietly to herself and she checked her cheesey Ozymandias fan-watch her mother had sent her, hurrying to the bar to meet with a fellow Mask Appreciator. They'd met through the fanclub, and agreed to begin formulating their plan together.


She pushed the door open and instantly recognised Lisa – the Trillby hat gave her away, particularly when accompanied by a floor length trench coat and white scarf – and Hari strode up to her and tapped her on the shoulder with a smile. “Hi, Lisa!” she said excitedly, barely containing her 'squeeing' at the prospect of the conversation they were about to have.


“Hi, Hari! Are you ready to plan our ultimate demise?” Lisa replied in a gentle Australian accent, and Hari made a small squeaking noise and bounced gently on the spot.


“I definitely am. Let me get a drink and I can tell you about who I found to help us out,” Hari told her, ordering a bottle of beer and leading the way to the booth in the corner. She sat down and sent a glare at the man giving them looks as though they were mad and gathered her thoughts. “I've found someone to complete our Henious and Bizarre plan. He's called,” she began , then leant in and lowered her voice. “Captain Carnage.”


“Oooh, he sounds perfect!” Lisa agreed and giggled gently as she toasted Hari's beer. “When can he do it?”


“I told him to be waiting around the corner at 10pm tonight,” Hari replied and smirked. “How did last night work out?”


“Oh, Nite Owl turned up. I did point out to him that a sad old dude in a bad owl mask was not exactly who I was looking for. Did it work out for you?” Hari snorted and shook her head slightly sadly.


“Nope. The Silk Spectre came and freed me from the clutches of some big thuggish type,” she told Lisa, feeling a little grumpy at the memory. Was it too much to ask to be rescued by the Mask you loved? “Though I heard she's at a mixer with the Giant Blue Dong of Manhattan, and that Nite Owl will be working on his owlship,” she said wisely, and Lisa laughed.


“Perfect! Just Ozymandias and Rorschach left patrolling the streets, seeing as the Comedian is out of the country,” Lisa said in a hushed tone, and winked at her companion. “I wonder what he looks like under that mask?” she day-dreamed, then caught herself and watched the same expression form on Hari's face.


“I wonder if a long name is like big feet and hands,” Hari wondered aloud, and they both laughed and high-fived. Hari rose her beer into the air and stood to propose a toast. “A toast! To the Masks and those of us obsessed enough with them to plot our own kidnap!” They clinked their glasses and sat back down to finalise their plans.


*~*~*~*~*


They left a little before 10, walking slowly and purposefully towards the corner. On cue, Captain Carnage leapt out of the darkness, waving a very realistic gun around and pointing it in their vague direction. “AH-HA! A victim! A hapless victim for me to kidnap!”


“Oh, no! A super-villian! Whatever shall we do?” Hari screamed loudly, making sure to look as terrified as she sounded.


“Oh, God! He's got a gun!” Lisa enthused, and they glanced at one another and tried not to laugh.


“Put your hands in the air, or I will shoot!” Captain Carnage shouted, winking theatrically at Hari who shoved a hand in her mouth to stop from laughing. People were beginning to crowd around them, watching to see what would happen.


“Oh, please don't shoot! I'll give you my handbag!” Lisa told him, removing the bag from her shoulder and handing it over. Captain Carnage shook his head.


“No! You cannot appease me with your petty handbags! I will be kidnapping you and demanding an... An...” Captain Carnage looked wide-eyed at Hari for a cue.


“Extortionate...” she whispered out of the corner of her mouth.


“Yes, an extortionate ransom! Now, get into my incredibly sinister car!” he ordered, and the two girls threw themselves into the small car and slammed the door, exchanging small 'squee' noises as Captain Carnage jumped into the drivers seat and pulled away hard.


*~*~*~*~*


Adrian Veidt checked himself in the mirror after expertly applying the Ozymandias suit, then glanced at the clock beside his bed. He smiled gently and finished dressing, heading for the back elevator to leave Veidt Tower and go patrol his preferred area, just down by the docks. There were a few warehouses there which seemed to be favoured by drug barons and general nasty folk, so he always made a start there and followed his nose. He hoped he'd have a quiet night; he had a busy day tomorrow.


*~*~*~*~*


Walter Kovacs was not having a relaxing start to his evening. He'd changed into the Rorschach costume as normal, and begun to trawl the streets, hating the fact that the prostitute on the corner still tried to get him into her bed – for a cost. Rorschach ignored her and headed east to the river, to poke around the warehouses down there. You never know what you might find, he reflected with a half-smirk.


*~*~*~*~*


Hari discussed the cost of the kidnap with Captain Carnage as he tied them to one another where they sat in chairs back to back. A good fee of $300 was agreed, and they would have shaken on the issue, but Hari's hands were tied and she was having trouble containing her excitement. “Any minute!” she whispered and Lisa wriggled in her chair by way of a response. “Should we scream for help?”


“I think we should,” Lisa agreed.


“It would certainly add to the ambiance of the situation,” Captain Carnage agreed, and so the two women began screaming theatrically, shouting for 'Someone to come and save us!' or 'Oh, Golly Gosh, that's a mighty big hitting stick you have!'. They didn't know that Rorschach and Ozymandias were already inside the building, silently splitting up as they moved through the building to rescue the women screaming.


Ozymandias appeared first, swatting Captain Carnage with a back hand and spinning the hapless villian into Rorschach's fist. Ozymandias stepped forward and began untying them both, ignoring the huge grins on their faces. “Are you two okay?” he asked as they scrambled to their feet and nodded.


“Yeah, thanks,” Lisa said, noticing that Hari was staring stupidly into space. She elbowed her friend who jerked back into consciousness and nodded.


“Yeah, you're – I mean, I'm fine,” she told him, and he frowned slightly before turning back to Rorschach and Captain Carnage. Rorschach had Captain Carnage against the wall by his throat, blood trickling gently down his cheek and whimpering like a small child.


“Rorschach, you're crushing his windpipe, we can't understand a word he's saying!” Ozymandias shouted, leaping athletically across the room and ripping Captain Carnage out of the shorter man's grasp.


“Kidnapped innocents, must be punished,” Rorschach said simply, glancing over his shoulder at Lisa and Hari who were doing well at pretending not to be a pair of squeeing fangirls.


“Hooooh my god he just looked at me,” Lisa whispered and Hari flashed her a nervous smile, the smile vanishing when Ozymandias stepped away from Captain Carnage, leaving him to Rorschach. Rorschach too had given up with the idiotic villian and was more interested in the two women who were looking perfectly dejected.


“No, no!” Captain Carnage yelled, taking them all by surprise. “Punish me! PUNISH ME!” he yelled, pulling a small ping pong ball out of his utility belt and lobbing it at the back of Rorschach's head. The patterns on Rorschach's mask shifted to something similar to an angry scowl, and he turned to Captain Carnage, who began laughing.


“Rorschach, don't-” Ozymandias started, moving towards Rorschach who was chasing Captain Carnage. The two women followed a few feet behind the group, nervously holding hands and anxious to see where the confrontation would lead. Captain Carnage stopped abruptly, just a few feet shy of the empty elevator shaft.


“Well? C'mon then, Mask-Man! PUNISH ME!” he screamed.


“No, Rorschach, just turn and-” Ozymandias started again, watching Rorschach closely. Rorschach moved too quickly, leaping forwards and grabbing Captain Carnage and dangling him over the elevator shaft.


“Yes, PUNISH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....” Captain Carnage screeched again as Rorschach dropped him down the shaft. Hari and Lisa squealed and slammed their eyes shut, hugging each other tightly to hide the other's face from the image of the poor man falling. Ozymandias looked away and down, frowning slightly.


“Rorschach, that was a little bit of an overreaction,” Ozymandias said quietly. He received an imperceptible shrug from the smaller man who shoved his hands in his pockets and made to leave. Lisa leapt away from Hari and jumped after him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder until he turned around. Under the mask he was considering breaking her fingers for touching him, but Walter had a moment of pity.


“I just wanted to say thanks,” Lisa told him quietly, retrieving a box of sugar cubes out of her pocket and holding it out to him.


“Could be poisoned. Gift not necessary,” he muttered.


“Definitely not poisoned, and most certainly necessary. You kick ass, and you deserve more than you get,” she said passionately, with a huge smile on her face. She opened the box and popped a sugar cube in her mouth to demonstrate the fact that they were safe, and giggled a little when he helped himself to a small handful and shoved them in his pocket before turning and leaving her where she stood, her heart hammering in her chest and a smile on her face.


Meanwhile, Hari was trying desperately to remember how her mouth worked. She eventually managed to stutter a thank you, to which Ozymandias nodded and smiled. “I just... I really appreciate it.”


“It's what I do,” he replied and she laughed.


“Yeah. I thought you'd appreciate the t-shirt,” she said and blushed as he assessed the royal purple colour of her t-shirt.


“Purple is a great colour, I have to admit,” he agreed, and frowned slightly when she started rummaging through her bag. She produced a purple velvet bag that she had made, that was full of anything and everything purple – Parma Violets, lilac roses, a roll of purple ribbon. She handed it to him and he laughed. “You and your friend should be going,” he told her, and she nodded and headed towards Lisa and her box of sugar. She gave him a wave as they headed for the exit, and he returned it and laughed as her cheeks reddened.


“Same time next week?” Lisa asked.


“Hell yush,” Hari answered.